I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
