Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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