i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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