$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
