His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
