Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
My ATM looks so different sober.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
