he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
high people should be assigned attendants
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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