i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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