whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
