And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
