Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize