Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
should my penis look like a turkey
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
