i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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