How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
