can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize