The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
