talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
