I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
