I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Randomize
