I skipped work to stalk him.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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