You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
