Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
