I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
