the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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