I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
