I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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