She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
