im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
