Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
