The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
