I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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