Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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