goodnight i made you a song goodbye
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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