Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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