The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
