i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
