Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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