Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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