P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
