he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
