Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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