Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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