brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
