So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
