so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
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