you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
