I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
