she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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