You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You're a waste of cheezeits
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
