This girl is more easily done than said...
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
