pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
