But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
