No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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