If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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