Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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