I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
