I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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